Ive always had a gripe with the whole man of steel concept and welcome the arrival of another attempt to shoe-horn any tension into a concept which, at its center simply does not work, like a second backside. You see, Superman The Movie said everything. He is different, he can fly, he is really strong, he isnt accepted as a person, he’ll never find love blah blah. When it came along it was fun, fresh, interesting and new, and I was 9. But after you have been convinced that a man can fly, really where else is there to go?

Ill admit that sequels in general get short shift at LNIS Towers, very, very few getting near their originals. Also, super people in super costumes get my goat more than most things, Watchmen being a complete vacuous exercise in slow mo superficiality to me. So, for Zack Snyder, the new Michael Bay, to be working on this raises my interest so very little.

Its a 50/50 thing. On the 1 hand, since the pretty good Dawn of the Dead remake (sorry, reboot!!) Ive hated everything Snyder has done. His style of super fast editing coupled with deep slow-mo and his playboy-eye bugs. I can tell very little of what is happening. Editing seems to directly replaced in this ‘film-makers’ brief, any plot or characterisation. “What, you want them to talk? OK, but we’ll do it with a 360° dolly in super slow-mo with her skirt lifting just enough to hide the good stuff”. Lazy and adolescent, action cinema is suffering at his hands.

Secondly, and back to the title of this post, I can’t invest in a character who can do anything. Superman can lift a mountain, see though stuff, go to the other side of the world in an instant, be anywhere do anything beat anyone. And if it all fails he can fly backwards around the world and reverse time. Simply put, if there is no threat there is no tension. Oh, and he wears a cape and his grundies on the outside of his tights.

Sorry if any of this offends any super fans, its probably just me, but since I was able to dress correctly with my underwear on the inside of my shorts I simply have not seen the point of or understood the affection that people have for this character. Batman is a real person. Spiderman too has his vulnerabilities. Superman, I simply don’t buy him. With Snyder in control, I’m really lost.

My initial disappointment changed to surprise then satisfaction.

★ ★ ★ ★

So, short, to the point and no fannying about, thats my new mantra. It might not work but it may improve things and get me blogging more regularly again. Lets see how it goes eh?

Cheers – Dave

We are lucky, people. We are living in a time of great creativity. Right now, at the top of their game are Christopher Nolan, Darren Aronofsky, David Fincher and many others who are taking blockbuster film making by the ears and making it ‘intelligent’.

A case in point is this twisting, multilayered thriller from the current darling of the popcorn/comic crowd Christoper Nolan and his writing partner, brother Jonathan.

Alfred Borden (Christian Bale) and Robert Angier (Hugh Jackman) are Londons top magicians, each battling to out trick the other and to learn their opponents secrets. They were once friends, but now they are both consumed by their craft. Angier especially, after a tragedy drives the two apart, cannot let Borden’s rise or reputation go…

What the Nolan’s do so well with The Prestige is lay all their cards out on the table. In an opening expositional trick by the brilliant Michael Cane. Here we are told that a good trick consists of 3 parts. 1. The Pledge, 2. The Turn, 3. The Prestige. So we know from reel 1 we are in for a twist. They then craft a personal tale of jealousy and revenge around a very believable Victorian set London where science is the new magic, the old ways struggling to find their place. This twist needs to be a good one. Do They manage it? Just about.

To divulge any more about the plot would be a spoiler, its a great ride with some unexpected pleasures. Although the main ‘surprise’ is so telegraphed from very early on its almost a relief when its finally revealed, like an office affair everybody knew about all along. But that shouldn’t stop anybody enjoying this clever and, yes, intelligent film from a proper film maker using the cash he generated on Batman Begins to make a more personal film.

★ ★ ★ ★

Milos is a retired porn actor, struggling for cash but settled down with his wife and young son. One day a former colleague approaches him with a proposition, a rich ‘art porn’ director wants him for a new sort of porn film and he is willing to pay enough for Milos to never worry about money again. What happens next is Milos’ personal hell, and we go with him.

You name it, and its in here. The violence is viscous and unrelenting, usually (but not exclusively) aimed sexually at women. The sexual content is graphic and copious. The characters are depraved and have no morals at all and there is a continuous tone of filth and dread from beginning to end. Is is the most controversial and shocking film of all time? It wishes it was, and thats the problem.

I’ve seen some pretty extreme cinema in my time. As I said above, I’m curious to the point of fascinated of the inhumanities we are capable of. Censorship is something that interests me too and to this day I’m as determined as ever to complete the list of video nasties, regardless of their quality. A Serbian Film is trying too hard to shock and to make headlines. After a while you begin to become immune to its tactics and things start to get ridiculous. When this happens the plot is not strong enough or clever enough to shine through. You can almost see Director Srdjan Spasojevic on the sidelines saying “oh you thought that was grotesque? Wait till you see whats happening next”. Somebody must have bought him a copy of Salo at an impressionable age.

A Serbian Film is certainly a very unpleasant watch, but because that is all it has any impact is lost. Compare it to AntiChrist, last years ‘most shocking movie ever’ which was beautifully shot, expertly crafted and had 2 of the most stunningly graphically violent set pieces ever and simply throwing as much depravity as 92 minutes of cinema can contain looks a little… forced. AntiChrist was about something and used graphic violence and sex as part of its narrative. As did Irreversible and Cannibal Holocaust, both of which I saw relatively recently and all of which can lay claim to being more shocking. They are also all smarter, better scripted, better made and ultimately will last longer in the mind that A Serbian Film which in comparison, looks immature. In places its just like watching a Russ Mayer film, complete with obvious rubber erections and scantily clad nurses. Silly.

I can see the political metaphor that is being shoe-horned in. The rape of a new-born for the rape of a new country, the descent into hell of a character with a dubious past for the descent into chaos for the same country. Kosovo is both the setting and theme. Its just all a bit obvious in a ‘film school’ sort of way. Take out the shock tactics and what you have left is an A’ Level essay on the Kosovan war and the abuse of Serbia afterwards.

The things I find most shocking are the film makers use of women as sexual puppets or victims, the only woman who demonstrates an appetite for anything other than porn or murder is beaten and humiliated. And the use of a child actor who’s character is sexually abused. As a parent, no scrub that, as a person who isn’t a arse hole I find it difficult to understand why any parent would allow their child to appear in this film. His scenes are obviously constructed as to protect him from the themes of the film and he is clearly not present during the actual abuse. But the juxtaposition of him and the violence and humiliation simply does not feel right.

In the end though A Serbian Film simply does not have enough story to become the anti-classic it aspires to be, its just not sharp enough. Also to show this a FrightFest is misleading too because while it is horrific, its never scary. I can see the shock horror ending a mile away and everything else is all so obvious too. For a film about a personal descent into hell see Requiem For Dream, now there’s a film that stays in the memory.

★ ★

Honestly, little gets my goat more than patronising kids films. Just because they are young doesn’t mean you should treat them as retarded or something. Wee gags and a bit of robot wrestling could have been a laugh if it were part of a better story.

Gulliver is a slacker (shock!) who get the chance to move up the corporate ladder and impress a girl by getting a great newspaper story about the Bermuda plot device. One mildly impressive water tornado later and here he is in Lilliput where the ‘fun’ begins.

So Jack Black plays slacker. Not a great stretch there.

Its all starts off so well too, with a genuinely impressive opening sequence of a miniturised Manhattan filmed from a giant’s perspective. Its stunning, very impressive and technically brilliant. Unfortunately, this sequence ends with the opening credits and other people take over the reigns for the film proper.

And from there on in its just plain shoddy. The only diverting thing is how well the effects are done, which is surely a given in these Photoshop days. What really rankles is that my kids are being treated as if they are simple, as if chucking a slightly amusing chubby comic into a slightly amusing situation is good enough. Its not. After we have gotten over the ‘hilarity’ of Gulliver’s size whats left is a bog standard ‘fish out of water/slacker made good’ story with no charm, no gags and no balls. Every joke falls flat, Jack Black looks as if he turned up for a weeks ‘work’ in front of a green screen and the supporting cast look like they did it for a pay cheque.

One last thing, Jack Black. Is he funny? There is a fine balance between funny, fun and annoying. I find he varies between the last 2 with an emphasis on the last, and never more than in this uninventive Christmas turkey. The acid test? My kids have never spoken of it since. Makes me proud that they have a sharper sense of humor than this rubbish demands.

One star below to the ace opening sequence.

★ ★

This is one of those that has been on the Sky+ box for ages, being overlooked by more compelling movies, shame because there is still lots to enjoy about this very British horror.

Set during a time of civil unrest Michael Hopkins roams East Anglia as a Witchfinder, appointed (apparently) to extract confessions out of the unholy by very dodgy means. When he prosecutes a priest for cash and sexual favors he incurrs the anger of crack soldier Richard Marshall who swears to find and kill Hopkins.

This is very ‘of its time’, but if you can look past that, it still has lots to offer. Its a deceptively deep film with overtones of misogyny, religious tension and repression between the burnings and hangings. Its actually quite a tough watch in places, especially for a film made in 1968, this really must have pushed the censors patients. There are beatings galore, especially prolonged on women, hangings, drownings, rape, torture and a gleeful enjoyment of everything throughout. Which is all fine, because this film is at least saying something, it has a point. Richards protection of his woman does border on possession.

Vincent Price is, ahem, priceless as Hopkins and Ian Ogilvy does stirling work as Richard, but overall the acting as a bit local rep and to be honest it could have lost a few horse chases, but hey this is as close to a British western as we can expect.

★ ★ ★

I do like a bit of the old Japanese/Korean horror. They, above all others over the last 15 years have understood on screen fright, which America and Britain seem reluctant to take on board. While the west is still fixated on super big villains and blood letting (nothing wrong with that by the way) our oriental cousins know exactly how to get under my skin.

After writing an expose on pedophilia, journalist Ji-won starts receiving increasingly disturbing phone calls and fears for her safety. Does she dump the phone and reside in over populated places like any normal? No. She moves to an isolated mansion, with her niece and keeps her phone fully charged.

Ringu, Ju-on, Audition, A Tale of 2 Sisters, great films the lot. Phone, sadly isn’t good enough to buff their shoes with a chamois. It tries so very hard too and many of the right ingredients are present and correct. Long shots in dark open corridors, startling jump cuts, a lank haired girl who moves in a funny way. Phone’s problems can be broken into 2 parts. Firstly, we have seen it all before, this is more a copy or collection of other great ideas than an original piece. Secondly, its all so bloomin confusing! Im genuinely struggling to slot it all together in my mind. Just when I have realised that this lady isn’t this child’s mother, she is in fact her auntie, and not married to that man she appears to be living with confusion reigns again and the child is with another person who is probably her mother. And why is she trying to snog her Dad?

Whos who? Why have you introduced this character then forgotten all about them after 1 scene? Why is the child staying with you in the spooky house? What happened to the investigative journalist plot?

Its plenty spooky enough and has me pulling up the duvet for protection, but soon that is not enough and the maddening plot swings and contrivances start to bug and I just want it to make some sense please!!

Oh, and if you are being stalked by some spectre through your mobile, surely it makes sense simply not to have a phone? No phone, no spook.

★ ★

Yep. I’m one of those. As a twelve year old the original Tron changed the game for me. It was, without comparison, the coolest thing in my formative teenage years. I saw it 5 times at the cinema, no mean feet back then. I dragged my parents, my brother, my friends until I had exhausted all partnership options. I played disc games with my mate Tony for months after and planned on getting my own light cycle as soon as they were invented.

If there were a noun for Tron likers, like a Tronist, I was one.

Therefore, a Tron sequel was always going to be good news.

Sam Flyn gets a message from his long absent father, Trons Kevin Flyn, who disappeared years ago. One slip of the finger later and Sam finds himself on the grid and disc fighting for his life. Will he escape?

OK, lets just admit it. The whole concept of Tron, that a computer can zap people into a game world, populated with ‘programs’ where they are treated like gods is faintly ridiculous. There, Ive said it, now I can move on.

What the original Tron did so brilliantly was excite me like few films had before. It had the most amazing special effects and created a complete world. Yeah it looks a bit naff these days but its good-will still keeps me hooked. It also had a perfect other worldly score which worked brilliantly with the visuals. The makers of Tron Legacy clearly had the same opinions as me because so much effort and attention has gone into the design of both the visual and aural experience. Its clear that they saw the same strengths in the original as I did and have absolutely nailed both critical aspects.

The hardware design is droolworthy. I so want one of the new light cycles, and one of the funky all terrain cars too. The battle arena has been upgraded into a multi platform, smooth edged death trap full of hidden corners, deep loops and mile upon mile of open throttle speed. One of the films stand out action set pieces so very nearly trumps the originals bike frenzy. It is, easily, the best action sequence of the year.

The new score by Daft Punk is also fittingly perfect, updating the etherial feel of the original into a banging voice to this other world. I’m not a Daft Punk fan, but I downloaded the theme tune as soon as I got home.

So with design in place, and score sorted the only thing left is the plot, which is where things start to get derezzed. What we get is too much existential chit chat in the middle section and unfortunately, unforgivably, I start to get bored and I notice that my 6 year old has nodded off. Never a good sign! The brilliant action set pieces of the first 45 minutes give way to Jeff Bridges meditations on life and Michael Sheen hamming it up something chronic. Its unfortunate that director Joseph Kosinski has taken his eye of the ball to such an extent, because if the script could have matched the design this would have been something truly stunning.

One last thing, I saw this in 3D, against my better judgment. My reasoning was that if this couldn’t change my mind about 3D, if Tron Legacy which is set within a computer world could not be an immersive 3D experience then nothing could. It wasn’t and my opinion remains firm. The 3D was not necessary, the design of the world, the costumes, the machinery were all so good the next dimension is just a distraction. If I have to keep taking my glasses off to check if its actually in 3D surely its a lost cause.

So a film of 2 sides really. A brilliant action film when its allowed to be, a bit dull when its stringing the bast bits together.

★ ★ ★

I eventually sat through Moulin Rouge after years of having people telling me how wonderful it is, despite me knowing, for certain, it was going to be a heap of overblown campness and just not for me. But was I right?

Christian is a writer, fresh in town and looking for life experience. He immediately finds it in the form a disparate group of individuals who introduce him to the Moulin Rouge and Satine, the most famous of all courtesans (posh slang for ho).

To me, Moulin Rouge always looked like a big all singing bag of vagazzle. All loud screatching, high kicking and tear-away ‘fun’, from the man who has no brakes, Baz Luhrmann. Rant 1, grown men shouldn’t be called Baz after leaving school, it needs to be Barry especially if you are attempting to become a respected director. He would never call himself Gaz, or Juggy or Luzzo and expect to get away with it!

So. I watch. And guess what! I was right all along. MR is an assault, a firecracker in a sandwich box and with all the subtlety of a teenage grope. Its like sitting next to an ADHD afflicted child who has the remote control and is flicking between music channels. I want to grab the reins off our Barry and shout STOP IT! LEARN THE BASICS OF EDITING! Very little bugs me more in life than bad editing, and this is full of it. I completely understand that Barry is trying to convey the frenetic atmosphere of the bohemian lifestyle, but the jump cuts are badly executed. They have no structure, no theme. They seem to chop with no rhythm and destroy any momentum the plot has. At times I simply cant tell what is going on and at this point I’m taken out of the narrative. For me if the show on screen is good enough I’ll be enthralled by it. Trying to draw me in by editing so so quickly butts against everything and I think its a lazy way to shoe horn pace in.

I’d read that the singing voices of Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor are not up to it but they were actually quite good, their average voices adding some realism to everything (much needed). Throw in John Leguizamo, one of my favorite actors, and things should have been much better.

The end is better than the start where things get more serious and Barry actually lets us enjoy the club without feeling the need to spin everything. But by then its all too late and just like his take on Romeo and Juliet I just want it to stop. Unlike Romeo and Juliet which started out with such fresh promise only to chip away at my patience I simply have no time for Moulin Rouge.

Turns out I was right all along. Love conquers all, shoddy editing means you cant see it though.

★ ★